Congrats - you just received a job offer!
There’s only one problem: You don’t actually want it.
What’s a job-seeker to do? Are you doomed to burn your bridges with this employer forever? Or is there some way you can gracefully escape with your bridges fully intact???
As a former leader of LinkedIn’s Education Team and a career coach to both MBAs at the University of Michigan and military veterans at Shift.org, I’ve both been in this situation and coached others through it dozens of time. So let me show you exactly what you need to make a Houdini-like exit that will set you up perfectly both today and tomorrow!
How to Politely Reject a Job Offer
I’m going to start by emphasizing politeness because let’s be real: After everything that prospective employers put you through, it’s tempting to want to get a little revenge.
Having suffered through the indignity of generic rejection email after generic rejection email, how sweet would it be to send one of your own? ;)
And yet, let’s keep our eyes on the prize: The whole point of a job search is to set ourselves up for a better life - both now and in the future.
So if we want to stay true to our own goals, we’ve got to keep these baser instincts in check and do this right.
Here’s how in 3 steps:
Step 1: Take Your Time
Even if you know you don’t want a specific job, don’t reject it immediately.
Why?
Because that job you don’t want might be the perfect bait to get the job you do want.
That’s because when it comes to all the other jobs you’re pursuing, you still lack leverage - i.e., you’re still one of potentially hundreds of candidates competing for a single offer.
And so the best way to level the playing field is to make yourself extra desirable. Which means telling these prospective employers about the job offer you’ve received ASAP!
So instead of rejecting this initial offer, shop it around. Let your other recruiters know about the role and your deadline for accepting it. And since one thing recruiters hate is losing out to the competition, you may find yourself getting way more VIP treatment than you had before sharing the news.
As an example, I was just starting out Google’s ultra-lengthy interview process when I received an offer from a smaller competitor. And even though I had been warned that the Google process could take months, I got an offer within two weeks. All because I had leverage!
Step 2: Recognize the Long Game
In addition to using your offer for leverage today, recognize that the offer represents relationships that may be useful for years to come.
One thing that’s hard to appreciate early in your career is just how long and winding careers are. Which means that prospective boss you absolutely don’t want to work for today could still be a valuable connector or referrer down the road - especially since you never know when your paths may cross again.
As an example, a hiring manager I once turned down early in my career later helped me land a job at a new company he moved to much later.
Which means that, when it finally comes time to turn down that job offer, make sure you bake the long game mentality into your prose…
Step 3: Respectfully Decline the Job Offer
With the long game in mind, here’s my recommended template for the perfect decline:
Dear HIRING MANAGER,
It’s been an absolute pleasure getting to know you and the team these past few weeks. I’ve come away with a real appreciation for your team’s work and the leadership you bring to it.
That said, after reflecting upon my own strengths and goals, I’ve come to realize that this may not be the perfect fit today. As much as I admire the work, I’m not convinced that I’d be the ideal person to get it done.
As such, I must regretfully decline your generous offer. But I very much hope that we can stay in touch as I value your mentorship. And I’d love to send great candidates your way in the future!
Truly appreciated,
YOUR NAME
Now, obviously, you should personalize this message with pertinent details from your experience (e.g., people always love when you call out specific things they did well).
But recognize that the broad outline nails three key themes:
Instead of just focusing on the negative news right away, it starts with a note of appreciation and respect.
The declination is couched in the language of “fit” - which means it’s not about something the employer did (“Your offer sucked and your team is full of jerks!”) so much as a respectful need to find someone who’s better aligned with the role’s parameters.
Instead of burning bridges, it plants the seed of a future relationship. And not just a one-sided connection, but one where you can learn from and help the manager in turn.
Turn Down That Job Offer in Style
So there you have it: 3 steps to decline an offer that not only maintain your relationship, but that actually take you even further in the right, long-term direction.
And while maybe not as satisfying as that revenge email you had planned in your head, the benefits over the course of your career should more than suffice… ;)